#feelings

This morning I woke up feeling absolutely shit.

Incomplete.

Running on E.

Tired.

Not to mention I also felt extremely fat and overweight and I thought by not eating anything for an hour I was gonna start feeling better WRONG as soon as I ate something (oats w yoghurt and peaches) I felt a heap better.

But that didn't stop me with then negative chitter chatter that goes on in my brain - it's non stop. Do I seriously need to keep talking to myself like this. I wish I could stop. I wish I could just look in the mirror and be super positive about life and shit.. BUT I CAN'T. Not at the moment, maybe one day soon.

Jase wants me to help him lose weight and I laughed like seriously laughed.. I mean yeah I want to lose weight but he's the one who always gets in the way of that.. I mean last time I got to 87kg from 105kg he'd decided that he was finished with the exercise etc and then I just went down hill from there.. I mean I know I can't blame him because I am my own person but it does make it hard.

I felt like crying this morning, over, and over, AGAIN! Wish I could just stop complaining and get on the right track.. I want to be able to to be the old me again which was happy and vibrant and focusing on the bigger things in life.

Anyway that's enough negative talk for the day, later.